“A conversation does not have to be scintillating in order to be memorable. I once met a president of the United States, and his second sentence to me was about knees.”

I’ve actually gotten so I don’t associate television with entertainment very much.

Perhaps the saddest irony of depression is that suicide happens when the patient gets a little better and can again function sufficiently.

Chris Matthews can’t start any sentence without ‘Let me ask you this… ‘ And I love Chris Matthews! But almost everybody in journalism does it. Who’s stopping you? Just say it!

In the main, ghosts are said to be forlorn and generally miserable, if not downright depressed. The jolly ghost is rare.

You have to be on TV a surprisingly long time before you’re stopped on the street. Then, when you are, you get a lot of, ‘Hey, you’re great! What’s your name again?’

Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

Nobody is going to try to confiscate guns, although some Web sites know better: President Obama, they are certain, wants to.

I’m not all that enthralled by show business, and I’m not that much of a highbrow.

I hate Danny Kaye movies.

In relative youth, we assume we’ll remember everything. Someone should urge the young to think otherwise.

While other kids were out playing and doing healthy things, I read an ancient judo book with a neck hold that was fatal to so many people they finally dropped it from judo.

I have a disturbing problem with losing things. My vulnerability to loss-distress could properly be labeled not only inordinate, but neurotic.

To label me an intellectual is a misunderstanding of what that is.

It’s lamented that the youth get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. It’s lamentable that they get more from them than from the news.

Unpleasant reading on the subject of anger tells us that there’s not really anything wrong with it. In limited amounts. It can even be a good thing. A pressure valve.

Marriage is one long conversation, chequered by disputes.

A person isn’t who they are during the last conversation you had with them – they’re who they’ve been throughout your whole relationship.

No animal should ever jump up on the dining-room furniture unless absolutely certain that he can hold his own in the conversation.

My lawyer has been a good friend of mine for a long time. He and I continuously have conversations.

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not attractive.

Conceit causes more conversation than wit.

Polite conversation is rarely either.

You start reverting back to that state of mind where you’re having conversations with yourself, and that’s where the weirdest and most honest ideas come from.