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The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.

Dick Cavett

There should be three days a week when no one is allowed to say: ‘What’s your sign?’ Violators would have their copies of Kahlil Gibran confiscated.
DICK CAVETT

Allow Day Violate
Its fun for me to go on other folks talk shows. When youve endured the ups and downs and tensions and pitfalls of hosting, being a guest is a piece of angel food.
DICK CAVETT

Angel Down Food Fun Pieces Show Talk Tension
My dream was maybe someday, one night I can be a guest on a talk show, and then I will have achieved everything I want.
DICK CAVETT

Achievement Dreams Myself Night Someday
Once I left out what I then considered my best line because there was a suspected column rat in the house.
DICK CAVETT

Best Column Consider Home Myself Suspect
I get a kick out of people saying I was funny.
DICK CAVETT

Funny Myself People
As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.
DICK CAVETT

Acceptance Financial People Profit Yourself
It’s a tribute to the human brain that anyone is able to function out there on television in a talk situation that is entirely artificial.
DICK CAVETT

Artificial Function Human Situation Tribute
Does anything show the complexity of the miraculous brain more than that weird curiosity, the sleep-protection dream?
DICK CAVETT

Complex Curiosity Dreams Protection Weird
The trick to writing for people is, you have to be able to turn them on in your head. And know how they’d word something or how they’d inflect it.
DICK CAVETT

Head Inflection Trick Word Writing Yourself
Every student of comedy should see Dame Edna at least twice.
DICK CAVETT

Comedy See Student
It’s no fun being a specimen.
DICK CAVETT

Fun One Liner Specimen
Why anyone, by dying, should thereby be declared beyond criticism, innocent of wrongdoing, suddenly filled with virtue and above reproach escapes me.
DICK CAVETT

Beyond Criticism Death Declare Escape Reproach
Censorship feeds the dirty mind more than the four-letter word itself.
DICK CAVETT

Dirty Food Letter Mindset Word
Music bypasses the brain and goes straight to the heart. I wish my life had more of it.
DICK CAVETT

Brain Heart Life Music Straight
I’ll be happy if I can just stay out of Nebraska.
DICK CAVETT

Away Happiness Myself Stay
It’s lamented that the youth get their news from Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. It’s lamentable that they get more from them than from the news.
DICK CAVETT

Information News Youth
Radio, which was a much better medium than television will ever be, was easy and pleasant to listen to. Your mind filled automatically with images.
DICK CAVETT

Better Image Listening Medium Mindset Television Yourself
It was at a vividly bad time in Norman Mailer’s life that I met him, and a sort of water-treading time in mine. He had stabbed his wife, and I was a copy boy at Time magazine.
DICK CAVETT

Bad Life Magazine Time Wife
Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.
DICK CAVETT

Assumption Finance Handle Himself People Treat
Just think of all the billions of coincidences that don’t happen.
DICK CAVETT

Chance Coincidence Thinking
A biggest mistake I made when I started doing a talk show was I thought you had to read the books.
DICK CAVETT

Big Book Mistake Reading Start Yourself
I hate Danny Kaye movies.
DICK CAVETT

Hate Movie Myself
Running my show is really like an actor being in repertory but where, in one day in one performance, you do scenes from a drama, a farce, a low comedy and a tragedy.
DICK CAVETT

Oneself Performance Scene Show Tragedy
It’s not always easy to identify your own voice. It comes with time.
DICK CAVETT

Easy Identify Time Voice Yourself
Every time someone says, ‘You know, we really ought to get together,’ if I were really honest, I would ask ‘Why?’
DICK CAVETT

Honesty Myself Time Togetherness
I feel sorry for the poor kids whose parents feel they’re qualified to teach them at home. Of course, some parents are smarter than some teachers, but in the main I see home-schooling as misguided foolishness.
DICK CAVETT

Children Feeling Fools Guide Home Parents Poor Smart
You would have to be naive to think you can appear on television and not have the material edited in some way.
DICK CAVETT

Appearance Material Naive Television Thinking Way Yourself

The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.

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The information superhighway? That sounds like a place that’s long and boring and kills 50,000 people a year.

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Popular Authors

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