They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
DAVE CHAPPELLEAll white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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I still think people do have racial hang-ups, but I think one of the reasons I can joke about it is people are shedding those racial hatreds.
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I got married recently. So far, so good. Less sex than I expected, but other than that, it’s a pretty good lifestyle.
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Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
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I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
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It seems like there’s never enough famous white people among comic in Hollywood.
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You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
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I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
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My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
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Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
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Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
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The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
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Being famous is great, it’s not like bad or horrible or anything.
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My father told me ‘Name your price in the beginning. If it ever gets more expensive than the price you name, get out of there.’
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
DAVE CHAPPELLE