You know you must be doing something right if old people like you.
DAVE CHAPPELLEI don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
More Dave Chappelle Quotes
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Weed’s not as bad as everything else… ’cause weed is a background substance. You know what I mean, you can smoke some herb and still function. You ain’t crisp… but you’ll function.
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One of the things that happens when people make the leap from a certain amount of money to tens of millions of dollars is that the people around you dramatically change.
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If you don’t have the right people around you and you’re moving at a million miles an hour you can lose yourself.
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The hardest thing to do is to be true to yourself, especially when everybody is watching.
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Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
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I have angst in my life, but I’m like anybody. We all have angst in our lives that we pick up and fidget with and then we put down and look at some other things that make us feel good or enjoy our lives.
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You got to be careful of the company you keep.
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Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
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I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
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Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
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I don’t want the money. I don’t want the drama. I just want to do my show. I want to have fun again.
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I don’t want anything bad to happen to the United States, but if North Korea ever drops a nuclear bomb on this country, I swear to God, I hope it lands in Hartford.
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They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
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I started when I was 14. I figured out that’s what I wanted to do when I was 14. Even when I was six, I can remember people telling me, “You’re gonna be a comedian,” and all this stuff.
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My wife asked me once if I weren’t a comedian, what I would do. I couldn’t answer the question. I never imagined doing anything else.
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Comedy is a very approval-oriented field.
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I felt in a lot of instances I was deliberately being put through stress because when you’re a guy who generates money, people have a vested interest in controlling you.
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Fame for me is like a place, a country I’m taking a tour through.
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I have all these weird fantasies. Going coast-to-coast on my motorcycle and having random barbecues all over America. No show, no nothing.
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When I’m on stage, I get real happy there. Maybe that’s the only time in my adult life I feel like myself.
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Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
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Ralph Nader has slavery reparations on his platform, which makes me think he’s not serious. If he thought he could win he wouldn’t even say that.
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Listen, here it is: Technically, I never quit. I’m seven years late for work.
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I have a very good life, a high quality of life. I have both money and time. No one has that.
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I’m happier in the way a guy gets happier when he starts to mature. It doesn’t make things easier, but I’m so much better at handling them.
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I love the fact that I have a show where you can run over a kid and everyone busts out laughing.
DAVE CHAPPELLE