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No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

Dave Chappelle

I get a little heated when I talk about the past. But I wanted to be clear – I’m not mad at anybody – not anymore.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Angry Mad Myself Past Talk
They do what they do for money – that’s all. I don’t even know why you’re listening to me. I’ve done commercials for both Coke and Pepsi. Truth is, I can’t even taste the difference, but Pepsi paid me last, so there it is.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Commercial Difference Listening Money Myself Pay Taste
All white people talk about when they get high is other times that they got high.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

People White
You know, be able to do something great in your life, you’re gonna have to realize your failures. You’re gonna have to embrace them and figure out how to overcome it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Failure Greatness Life Mark Realization Yourself
Chivalry is dead. Women killed it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Action Death Kill Woman
Once you been performing on the streets you can conquer any venue.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Conquer Performance Street Venue
Constantly take inventory of what’s important to you.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Important Invention Yourself
Comedians by and large are some of the most sensitive people on earth. Even if they’re socially callous.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Comedy Earth People Sensitive Social
Everyone around me says, You’re a genius! You’re great! That’s your voice! But I’m not sure if they’re right.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Genius Myself Right Voice
The only way you can know where the line is, is if you cross it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Boundary Limitation Yourself
If I can make a teacher’s salary doing comedy, I think that’s better than being a teacher.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Better Myself Salary Teacher Thinking
I don’t normally talk about my religion publicly because I don’t want people to associate me and my flaws with this beautiful thing. And I believe it is beautiful religion if you learn it the right way.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Association Learning People Religion Talk Yourself
The way the people around you position themselves around you to get in your pockets and in your mind is infuriating to me.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Angry Himself Mindset People Position
I support anyone’s right to be who they want to be. My question is: to what extent do I have to participate in your self-image?
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Image Participate Question Right Support Yourself
I’m cool with failing so long as I know that there are people around me that love me unconditionally.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Condition Failure Love Myself People
Remember what the Bible says: He who is without sin, cast the first rock. And I shall smoketh it.
DAVE CHAPPELLE

Himself Religious Scripture Sin Smoking

No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

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No matter how old you are, if a little kid hands you a toy phone, you answer it.

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