“It’s the kind of game that makes you go home and beat your wife.”

There’s nobody you’d rather beat than your good friend.

I came to the realization a couple months ago that I am fat. If you get tired from walking – and that’s all that golf is – then you are officially fat.

I don’t believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.

I always laugh when people ask me about rebounding techniques. I’ve got a technique. It’s called just go get the damn ball.

I played against him (Wilkins) in college. Getting nominated with him, that’s pretty cool.

Just because you say something doesn’t make it controversial, and it doesn’t make you a bad person.

I’m afraid of the skeletons in my closet. I’ve got a whole cemetery full of them.

I’m not paid to be a role model, parents should be role models.

The only difference between a good shot and a bad shot is if it goes in or not.

I was asked for years about being a Republican, probably because most black people are Democrats. My mother heard it once and called me and said ‘Charles, Republicans are for the rich people.’ And I said, ‘Mom, I’m rich.’

I know I’m never as good or bad as one single performance. I’ve never believed in my critics or my worshippers, and I’ve always been able to leave the game at the arena.

I just thank God for Dennis [Rodman], cause he makes me look like a saint.

Kids are great. That’s one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It’s a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

If Michael Jordan was a damn plumber, he couldn’t get a date. Any guy got $500 million looks good.

I think anybody who is racist is an idiot whether they are black or white.

When you’re black, you have to deal with so much crap in your life from other black people. It’s a dirty, dark secret; I’m glad it’s coming out.

Animals are my friends and I don’t eat my friends.

Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

These young guys are playing checkers. I’m out there playing chess.

In heaven, all the interesting people are missing.

My books are water; those of the great geniuses is wine. Everybody drinks water.

When it is a question of money, everybody is of the same religion.

Don’t use cannon to kill musquito.