“I don’t believe professional athletes should be role models. I believe parents should be role models.”

You can’t start a diet in the middle of the week, that’s just stupid.

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’

If you’re scarde to fail, you don’t deserve to be successful.

People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I’m gonna hit you in the other cheek too.

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.

The older I get, the faster I was.

Christian is going to be the strongest man in the NBA next year, because all he’s been doing all summer is carrying around the luggage for 11 guys.

Well, when I went off to college, the guys I used to hang with were pumping gas and voting Democrat. Today they’re still pumping gas and voting Democrat. Guess the Democrats didn’t do much for them.

Sometimes that light at the end of the tunnel is a train.

I’m really disturbed about the gay marriage thing. Because I think gay people should get married, cause it’s their own business. Because as a Black man, I think you’ve got to be against any form of discrimination.

Preseason is just a way to screw fans out of money.

Every time I think about changing a diaper, I run a little bit harder and a little bit faster to make sure I can afford a nanny until my daughter’s old enough to take care of that herself.

I’m not a role model. Just because I dunk a basketball doesn’t mean I should raise your kids.

If ifs were gifts, every day would be Christmas.

We’re just playing basketball. It’s not like we’re going out to have unprotected sex with Magic.