“People say I eat a lot. I really don’t. More or less I just eat all the time.”

If I weren’t earning $3 million a year to dunk a basketball, most people on the street would run in the other direction if they saw me coming.

But when I see a story on welfare on television, they only show black people.

I don’t hate anyone, at least not for more than 48 minutes, barring overtime.

He’ll never be Jordan. This clearly takes him out of the conversation. He can win as much as he wants to.

I like to help poor people who got no chance. If rich people don’t, who will? Not other poor people, that’s for sure.

I’m just what America needs: another unemployed black man.

There’s only 5 real jobs in the world. Teacher, fireman, policeman, doctor and somebody who is in the armed service. If you don’t have one of those 5 jobs, you shouldn’t take your life that serious.

If all babies are so cute, how the hell do we have so many ugly people in the world?

I think you have an obligation to be honest.

You know what I always say about basketball whenever anybody tried to tell me the Knicks are gonna be good: They’re old. Old people don’t get healthy. They die.

You can’t start a diet in the middle of the week, that’s just stupid.

I remember sitting down with the Rockets and saying, ‘Yeah. I’m going to retire.’ They said, ‘Well, we’ll give you $9 million.’ And I said, ‘You got a pen on you?’

If you’re scarde to fail, you don’t deserve to be successful.

People always say turn the other cheek. If you turn the other cheek, I’m gonna hit you in the other cheek too.

These are my new shoes. They’re good shoes. They won’t make you rich like me, they won’t make you rebound like me, they definitely won’t make you handsome like me. They’ll only make you have shoes like me. That’s it.

We don’t need refs, but I guess white guys need something to do.