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I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.

Brendan Behan

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Marriage Sexy
Many a man has decided to stay alive not because of the will to live but because of the determination not to give assorted surviving bastards the satisfaction of his death.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Determination Men Suicide
A man is fortunate if he encounters living examples of vice, as well as of virtue, to inspire him.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Inspire Men Role Models
Pound notes are the best religion in the world.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Funny Money World
There is no human situation so miserable that it cannot be made worse by the presence of a policeman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Made Miserable Situation
Every cripple has his own way of walking.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Cripples Walking Way
Whatever you hold in contempt is your jailer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Contempt Jailer Prison
I’m a drinker with a writing problem.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Drinkers Problem Writing
When two men fight over a woman it’s the fight they want, not the woman.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Fighting Men Two Woman
Critics are like eunuchs; they can tell you what to do, but they can’t do it themselves!
BRENDAN BEHAN

Critics Eunuchs Themselves
Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Criticism Editors Funny
A pedestrian ought to be legally allowed to toss at least one hand grenade at a motorist every day.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Hands Life Modern Toss
I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Beer Summer Winter
An author’s first duty is to let down his country.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Down Firsts Let
Failure at a task may be the result of having tackled it at the wrong time.
BRENDAN BEHAN

May Results Tasks
New York is my Lourdes, where I go for spiritual refreshment… a place where you’re least likely to be bitten by a wild goat.
BRENDAN BEHAN

Country Funny Irish People Spiritual

I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.

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I am married to Beatrice Salkeld, a painter. We have no children, except me.

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