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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.

Bob Saget

My mom just told me it’s impossible to know what’s going to happen in life. Except with breakfast, cause she eats the same thing every day.
BOB SAGET

Breakfast Causes Mom
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want
I think when you dissect a joke too much, you have ruined whatever there is in comedy.
BOB SAGET

Comedy Much Thinking Too
Paul Riser tells it in an interesting way; he dissects it and tells the structure, you know, ‘you don’t mention that part here.’ But that’s what’s interesting about it and the people who are absent are interesting too.
BOB SAGET

Interesting People Way
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET

Alcoholics Horrible Used
I was on Entourage last week smoking a bong and making out with hookers and I did show them that before, cause it wasn’t a hard ‘r’ cause a lot of people are watching that show that they know, not my little one – she’s 12, but very sophisticated so it’s an unusual case.
BOB SAGET

Littles People Smoking
If you’re hanging out with two negative people, do they equal one positive person?
BOB SAGET

Hanging Negative People Two
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET

Bored People Talking
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
I have no agenda, nothing to control.
BOB SAGET

Agendas Control Nothing
My dad’s like, If your mom and I are having sex and we videotape it and she falls out of bed funny, can I win ten-thousand dollars?
BOB SAGET

Dad Dollar Funny Mom Sex
Most people argue over who’s right, not about what the truth is.
BOB SAGET

Arguing People Truth
Sundays are a good day to look at the limitless possibilities of the week ahead. The key is to prolong that feeling by not reading the news.
BOB SAGET

Day Good Reading Sunday
The selfish and usually pointless approach is to try to get both done simultaneously – accomplish your work at hand while begging forgiveness of those close to you while you’re basically working in front of them during what could’ve been specifically ‘quality time.’
BOB SAGET

Hands Selfish Trying
When a normal 17-year-old girl storms out of the house or 15-year-old boy is mad at his mom or dad, they’re not talking the way people talk on TV. Unless it’s cable.
BOB SAGET

Cable Storms Television Things Unless

My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.

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My favorite procrastination is to make the choice to have valuable times with human beings that I care about instead of holing myself up alone to get my work done.

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Popular Authors

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