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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

Bob Saget

Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET

Realizing Sometimes Wish
My wife is a saint. She’s Gandhi. She walks around in diapers and won’t eat.
BOB SAGET

Diapers Saint Wife
It’s 103 comedians, or however many it is, and how would everyone tell it. It’s enough people of substance that it makes you think of the people who aren’t there that are alive.
BOB SAGET

Make People Think Thinking
Bob Saget was known, in the comedy clubs in those days, as extremely funny but with dark humor. It was always an inside joke among comics, when he got Full House, it was, like, wow, hes playing this all-American dad kind of thing.
BOB SAGET

Dad Dark House
No one gets a free ride. Except maybe bus drivers.
BOB SAGET

Bus Driver Drivers
I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby’s behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.
BOB SAGET

Baby Feet Pedicures
My father once told me, and it’s stuck with me to this day: As you walk through life, every time you fart it pushes you forward.
BOB SAGET

Fart Father Stuck
It’s okay to get stoned, as long as its not by other people.
BOB SAGET

Long Okay People
Valuable people are undervalued.
BOB SAGET

People Undervalued Valuable
I have the brain of a German Shepherd and the body of a 16-year-old boy; they’re both in my car and I want you to see them
BOB SAGET

Boys Car Country Years
I wouldn’t hurt a flea. I’d finger a spider though.
BOB SAGET

Fleas Hurt Spider
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET

Kindness Necessity Virtue
I have three kids, the oldest is 18 and her friends are going to see it The Aristocrats because they told her they’re going to see it, especially her guy friends.
BOB SAGET

Aristocracy Guy Kids
I have no plan except to take care of the people I love.
BOB SAGET

Care Except People Take
The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGET

Squirrels Way Yards
If I ever die, I want it to be cause I got hit by a car saving a kid.
BOB SAGET

Car Die Kids Saving Want

I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

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I like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.

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Popular Authors

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