The squirrel in my yard really knows his way around the neighborhood.
BOB SAGETI like to approach every day like it’s my first, so this morning when I woke up I covered my body with red gelatin.
More Bob Saget Quotes
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My dad told me if I was ever intimidated by anyone, just picture them with their clothes off. He said that’s how he dealt with my mom.
BOB SAGET -
At the end of the day it’s the end of the day.
BOB SAGET -
I love watching people get hit in the crotch. But only if they get back up. If their teeth are bleeding, if they’re really hurt, if an ambulance has to come, I’m not laughing.
BOB SAGET -
Everyone I love I pay.
BOB SAGET -
I don’t roll like that but I’ve never been with a hooker either. Yeah, that’s good to say in an interview cause I feel bad a little because people grew up watching me and that’s a little disturbing.
BOB SAGET -
It’s smart to marry your yoga teacher so when you get divorced you know how to go down on yourself.
BOB SAGET -
Kindness isn’t just a virtue, its a necessity.
BOB SAGET -
I become a chameleon for wherever I am.
BOB SAGET -
Not a lot of people have done this. Stop It. This is why. You can cauterize your asshole shut, so when you fart it has nowhere to go and you can have a fart attack.
BOB SAGET -
A good way to keep your relationship together is not to scream in terror when you see your partner naked.
BOB SAGET -
Sometimes I wish I hadn’t said something foolish. It is then that I realize the power of mime.
BOB SAGET -
I’m fortunate to know a lot of incredibly talented people, and they all want to be a penguin.
BOB SAGET -
Friend of mine just told me he used to be a bad alcoholic. I calmed him down. Told him he was a good alcoholic just a horrible drinker.
BOB SAGET -
Nothing worse than a piece of dried out fish.
BOB SAGET -
Yet there are some people – Steve Allen would dissect comedy forever; he’s a really funny guy, but he would love talking about comedy. I’m doing it right now and you all seem bored.
BOB SAGET







