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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

Bo Burnham

The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
BO BURNHAM

Favors Littles Thinking
At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Feelings Thinking Time Years
I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAM

Bored Half Needs Overstimulated Scene
And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
BO BURNHAM

Country Funny Gay Humor Meet Time
Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
BO BURNHAM

Like Parent Something Sometimes Watch
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone’s watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it.
BO BURNHAM

Hate Love Person Reality Thinking
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM

Fake Kings Talent
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop
Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM

Country Guy Impression People
Quotes are for dumb people who can’t think of something intelligent to say on their own.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Intelligent
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM

Cereal Men Remember Thinking
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAM

Dollars Long Pussy
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAM

Geneticist Giving People Real

I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

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I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.

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