All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
BO BURNHAMI’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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Then the challenge is, once you left brain it and build it, then when you’re on stage you have to know it so well that you can get lost in it. I don’t want to be onstage looking like a robot,
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
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They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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