I chose to do comedy instead of going to college.
BO BURNHAMFor fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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At the time of ‘Words, Words, Words,’ I’m a 19-year-old getting up feeling like he’s entitled to do comedy and tell you what he thinks of the world, so that’s inherently a little bit ridiculous.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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I do think that stand-up comedy in general heavily favors masculinity and so I like to act a little feminine onstage.
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I work really hard on the shows and I think the shows speak for themselves. I don’t want to construct the show to prove something.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM







