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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

Bo Burnham

If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
BO BURNHAM

Jesus Land Water
I worked eight hours a day just so I could get into the college of my dreams and say that I got in – and I never went.
BO BURNHAM

College Dream Eight
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Funny Humor Women
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Facts People
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
Love is all about… whistles.
BO BURNHAM

About Love Whistle
What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
BO BURNHAM

Internet Kings Pirate Song Try
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
I love you like a gay geneticist loves designer genes.
BO BURNHAM

Designer Funny Humor Love You
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
BO BURNHAM

Cereal Men Remember Thinking
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
BO BURNHAM

Crystals Funny Humor
My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
BO BURNHAM

Lovely People Trying
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women

In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

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In the distance, Bo saw a fairy. A fairy so beautiful that he felt proud of being called one in highschool.

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Popular Authors

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