What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAMWhat’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAMPeople give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAMMy first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
BO BURNHAMYou love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
BO BURNHAMI’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAMI think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAMThe biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAMFor some comedians it feels so cool to be like: ‘I’ll say anything, man!’. I’m not quite there yet.
BO BURNHAMAnd two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAMI don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
BO BURNHAMThe average person has one Fallopian tube.
BO BURNHAMI get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAMThere’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
BO BURNHAMI just think they aren’t true. I’m saying that our generation wants stuff that is substantial and challenging, as well as thoughtful and endearing. Well, I don’t know if I’m doing that, but I’m trying.
BO BURNHAMI have a pretty good math mind, so I can see patterns, but I don’t have a great ear. It’s like a tragedy – I can see so much more natural musical ability in so many other people.
BO BURNHAMThe strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
BO BURNHAM