Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
BO BURNHAMI never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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I’m happy with what I’m doing. I try not to focus on how I’ve changed. I just try to focus on what I’m doing now.
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I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
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Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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If Jesus can walk on water, can he swim on land?
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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For fifteen cents a day you can feed an African, they eat pennies.
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The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM