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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

Bo Burnham

I think comedy has a range, with multiple peaks in different areas. It’s like trying to compare Beethoven and the Beatles. Sometimes I hear from people, ‘I think you try too hard in your comedy.’ And that’s what I worry about.
BO BURNHAM

People Thinking Worry
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
BO BURNHAM

Dirty Grow Kids Song
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
People give me money and I don’t know why, my real collection plate is an empty cup held by a homeless guy.
BO BURNHAM

Geneticist Giving People Real
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
BO BURNHAM

Lovely People Trying
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Funny Humor Women
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
BO BURNHAM

Laughing Thinking Worst Time
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM

Country Men People Theatre Thinking
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Guy Humor
I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Said Staring Stop

I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.

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