Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAMI never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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It’s not most important to communicate myself on stage as it is to be as funny or interesting as I possibly can on stage.
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I never felt like I was stealing anyone’s fans as much as I was introducing some younger people to comedy who will eventually find tons of other comedians that they love.
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There’s a metal train that a mile long and at the very back end a lightning bolt struck her. How long til it reaches and kills the driver, provided that he’s a good conductor?
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I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
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We’re having a traditional Thanksgiving – turkey, mashed potatoes, hat buckles, smallpox, genocide, a blue corn moon, etc.
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What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
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I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
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Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
BO BURNHAM