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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

Bo Burnham

Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Funny Humor Women
The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
BO BURNHAM

Answers Ideas People
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
BO BURNHAM

Fame Idea Mind Special
I saw a giraffe with a short neck That was sad Or a deer
BO BURNHAM

Deer Necks Saws
Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
BO BURNHAM

Like Parent Something Sometimes Watch
I don’t want to try to recreate for no reason. Like, me in my bedroom, singing songs to a camera was a special thing that was at that time in my life. But I’m just not that kid. I like the format of it, but I want to be able to release things for free.
BO BURNHAM

Kids Singing Song
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
Twitter is a lot like crystal meth, because it’s really fun to do and Oprah’s on it.
BO BURNHAM

Crystals Funny Humor
Even if he is your friend, never, ever call an Asian person.
BO BURNHAM

Asian Country People Persons
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
I love you just the way you are but you don’t see you like I do. You shouldn’t try so hard to be perfect. Trust me, perfect should try to be you.
BO BURNHAM

Love Perfect Trying You
I’m also wary about the fact that if you don’t proceed with caution and understand what you’re doing, you understand these things are realities that you’re dealing with, they’re real things.
BO BURNHAM

About Caution Real Things Understand
Poetic talent is really easy to fake when thy sentences doth no f-king sense make.
BO BURNHAM

Fake Kings Talent

All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.

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