I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
BO BURNHAMWhere are all the sour patch parents?
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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Women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote. Puzzles still don’t.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
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I like to inject a bit of production value and flair to comedy, or at least to my little corner of comedy.
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The strength of comedy is I don’t have to answer to anybody but sometimes you want to learn from other people and see your ideas strengthen by other people.
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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I remember being superyoung, like nine or ten years old, and thinking, ‘Man, I wonder what famous people eat for breakfast.
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My first concern is that when you go to a show, you should be present. It’s much more exciting to put the camera down and lose yourself in it.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
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I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
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All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.
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Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
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And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
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