Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAMWhen I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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Is there anything better than pussy? Yeah, a really good book.
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There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
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Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
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Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
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I just try to do things on stage that I think the audience would enjoy. And I try to draw on and add to acts that I’ve enjoyed watching.
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My work is trying to at least define myself on my own terms, and then if other people enjoy things that’s a lovely addition.
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I never said I was funny, OK, so stop staring at me.
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I’m not a grown up until everybody realises I’m a grown up. When everyone remembers me as the dirty kid singing little songs I am the dirty little kid.
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When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
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Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.
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And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.
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