I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAMWhen I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
More Bo Burnham Quotes
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I got a safe full of cherries ’cause I pop it and lock it.
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The average person has one Fallopian tube.
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I don’t need anything as long as I have my family, friends, millions of dollars, unlimited pussy.
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Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
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If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
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If comedy is about surprises, about tension, there’s a lot of tension and surprise there, in the fact that people are expecting this to be natural.
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I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
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When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
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I think it’s using people, I think it’s like encouraging something that’s unhealthy, telling people you love them. “I love you.” Oh really, you love your fans?
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I feel more like I’m doing a play whose main character just happens to share my name.
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Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
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Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
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I know it’s the comedian’s instinct to say, “Do it, man, nothing’s off-limits! It’s cool, bro!” I don’t know if that’s the answer for me.
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What’s that? My six song album entitled Bo Fo Sho is currently available on iTunes? With three songs that have never been heard on the internet? Uh, and if I try to pirate it for free I’ll get AIDS? I would have guessed scurvy. Well, see you later ghost of Dr.Martin Luther King Jr.
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I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
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