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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

Bo Burnham

You love the people that give you money and attention? Of course you do, that’s not selfless that you love your fans, that’s ridiculous.
BO BURNHAM

Attention Love Money Ridiculous Selfless
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
Because I see that as a crutch sometimes and I want to know that I can do something funny and worthwhile without that. And also make a show that my parents would like and that kids could watch with their parents.
BO BURNHAM

Like Parent Something Sometimes Watch
Happy Thanksgiving! I broke into Best Buy and stole a copy of Pocahontas to celebrate.
BO BURNHAM

Broke Celebrate Happy Thanksgiving
Drugs kill, just like cancer. So don’t smoke… tumors.
BO BURNHAM

Cancer Funny Humor
The biggest danger, for me, with making yourself your act is that a lot of people with think they know you for better or worse. That’s an ongoing struggle with me and it can get really trippy sometimes.
BO BURNHAM

Strong Struggle Thinking
I’m friends with a lot of comedians, but we don’t talk about material. Most comedians I know don’t watch a lot of other comedy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedian Comedy Watches
Do unto others as you would have them do to you, said the rapist.
BO BURNHAM

Bible Jesus Kindness
There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
BO BURNHAM

Certain Joke Lines Mind Poetry
When things [writing] are over, I always think, ‘well, I’m never going to do anything again because I have no ideas so I’m going to go be a farmer’. Or else ideas will come and and if not then I become a farmer. Hopefully won’t happen.
BO BURNHAM

Ideas Thinking Writing
My persona is most importantly just to communicate the material in a way that is most funny and meaningful in the moment. It’s more like a character that’s sculpted for whatever joke needs communicating at the moment.
BO BURNHAM

Character Meaningful Way
I believe, firmly, that women are always right. Ah, I should actually rephrase that: I… don’t.
BO BURNHAM

Belief Funny Humor
The world doesn’t need any more hot chicks or tough guys or smooth talkers – the world needs more you. And don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.
BO BURNHAM

Anyone Otherwise Smooth Talker Tell
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
Where are all the sour patch parents?
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Parent
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

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