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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

Bo Burnham

I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
The classic comedian says there’s nothing that’s taboo; if you laugh at one thing you’ve got to laugh at everything, that comedy is taking people to dark areas and showing them the light.
BO BURNHAM

Dark Laughing Light
There’s a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that’s a bit blurred in my mind.
BO BURNHAM

Certain Joke Lines Mind Poetry
And two balls minus one, six titles at the tour de France.
BO BURNHAM

Balls Funny Humor Person Two
I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAM

Controversial Thinking Trying
Laughter is the best medicine, y’know, besides medicine.
BO BURNHAM

Best Laughter Medicine
If your belief is hateful towards people, I couldn’t respect that.
BO BURNHAM

Beliefs Hateful People
“Do I really want to make a joke about a miscarriage when a woman in the audience might have had one?” I don’t worship comedy; at the end of the day I don’t fall to the altar of comedy unquestioningly.
BO BURNHAM

Audience Awordship Comedy Unwquestiongly
If you can think of all the times in your life, some of the happiest times were probably when you were laughing. And some of the worst times in your life you were being laughed at.
BO BURNHAM

Laughing Thinking Worst Time
I don’t try to call myself a poet. But I know that my stuff is pretty literal, in that the themes are pretty simple and on the surface.
BO BURNHAM

Simple Stuff Trying
How old is too old to stop believing in, like, the tooth fairy? Like 12? I’ve got a cousin who is 18… Yeah, still believes in gay marriage.
BO BURNHAM

Believe Cousin Gay
When life gets you down, make a comforter!
BO BURNHAM

Comforter Funny Humor
They must have some special kind of cereal!’ My mind was so warped by the idea of fame.
BO BURNHAM

Fame Idea Mind Special
When I see someone filming me, I don’t usually think, ‘No, man, don’t put this up online!’ I’d think, ‘Hey man, you don’t get to go to shows very often, put down the camera and enjoy it!’ I love going to theatre and to shows so much.
BO BURNHAM

Country Men People Theatre Thinking
The thing is, I was on YouTube like the golden era, I think. Before ads came in, it was really cool back then.
BO BURNHAM

Eras Golden Thinking
I actually wrestled in high school. I was only in one match, and I lost… my virginity.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor School

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

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If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

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Popular Authors

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