black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

Bo Burnham

I’m actually very open to having a conversation about what I should or shouldn’t say.
BO BURNHAM

Actually Conversation Open Say
Was Einstein’s theory good? Relatively.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Theory
I think controversy has this allusion of being controversial but it’s totally not, which is why I’m trying to get away from it because it’s just easy and automatic.
BO BURNHAM

Controversial Thinking Trying
I met a bipolar bear. He laughed, cried, then wanted a threesome.
BO BURNHAM

Bears Beliefs Bipolar Mets
My persona on stage was always coming from a place of I know better than you and I’m going to be a little bit pretentious in your face with these sort of crass ideas.
BO BURNHAM

Faces Ideas Littles Persona
I’m a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Girlfriend Uncle
What’s a pirate minus the ship? just a creative homeless guy
BO BURNHAM

Creative Funny Humor Life
Women are like fingers and toes because they’re easy to count on.
BO BURNHAM

Funny Humor Toes Women
People do complain about the way I act on stage… They think on stage I act too arrogant, too self-obsessed, solecistic, self-contained, synonyms.
BO BURNHAM

People Self Thinking
I thought I wanted to be a physicist in high school until I learned that there was much more math than philosophy in it. I assumed I would just sit around all day and think.
BO BURNHAM

Math Philosophy School
I’m bored way too easily. I’m staring at screens half the day. I need to be overstimulated. And how will that express itself artistically?
BO BURNHAM

Bored Half Needs Overstimulated Scene
Do you guys like impressions? “Why?” That was Socrates.
BO BURNHAM

Country Guy Impression People
Postmodern comedy doesn’t work well with very old audiences, because it’s making fun of the comedy they enjoy.
BO BURNHAM

Comedy Enjoy Fun
I don’t like calling myself a “feminist” only because I don’t think I’ve done anything active enough to call myself one. It’d be like calling myself a civil rights activist just because I’m not racist.
BO BURNHAM

Country Feminist People Rights Thinking
I get more ass than a giant donkey stable.
BO BURNHAM

Donkey Funny Giants Humor
Bitches and hoes don’t exist because the hoes know Bo’s a feminist.
BO BURNHAM

Bitches Country Feminist Hoe Knows People

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

If I had a dime for every time a homeless guy asked me for change, I’d still say no.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bo Burnham Quotes