Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
BILLY CRYSTALTwo thousand years ago Jesus is crucified, three days later he walks out of a cave and they celebrate with chocolate bunnies and marshmallow Peeps and beautifully decorated eggs. I guess these were things Jesus loved as a child.
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
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By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he’s too old to go anywhere.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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I can’t be funny if my feet don’t feel right.
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It’s money. I remember it from when I was single
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Whoo-hoo-hoo, look who knows so much. It just so happens that your friend here is only MOSTLY dead.
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That’s why that show, no matter who hosts it, it really should be a fast-thinking comedian who is really quick on their feet that can handle situations that happen, or somebody with that kind of mentality that can capitalize on something.
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Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
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I had really good hearing and when you’re scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something.
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When comedy is good, it’s jazz. The beats of it, the looseness, the improvisational part, the music-the way you hit the inflection, the high notes of a joke. It’s all melody to me.
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I started examining history and then everything related to the theater. History, art, all the other studies, if I could link them into the theater, then it became alive for me. It just opened up my eyes.
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Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, ‘This is the best I’m ever going to look, the best I’m ever going to feel, the best I’m ever going to do,’ and it ain’t that great?
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I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
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I’m a baby. I sleep like a baby – I’m up every two hours. And I think a lot. I worry a lot. I have great nights of no sleep where ideas come.
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Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
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