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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

Billy Crystal

The inspiration was this great group of 40 or 50 relatives, sometimes for Thanksgiving or Passover or something and my brothers would just go up and make them laugh.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Brother Inspiration Laughing
I don’t like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Fifth Grade Growing Height
Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America’s biggest export is now the Oscar.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Country Funny Humorous
That’s the thing about jazz: it’s free flowing, it comes from your soul.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Soul
You give up your dream, you give up.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Dream Giving Vision
Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Golden Problem World
I think when I feel I’m at my best is when I’m on stage, and it’s my version of jazz because it’s just riffing or something.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedy Jazz Thinking
I was introducing [director and producer] Hal Roach – Mr. Roach was 100 years old, he was one of the fathers of early days in films, he put Laurel with Hardy, he created the Our Gang kids, and all these silent movies he did – he was a giant.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Father Introducing Kids Producer Years
It is better to look good than to feel good.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Comedian Feel Good Looks
Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
BILLY CRYSTAL

News Puck Puff
As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Actors Character Directors
The Passion of the Christ opened up on Ash Wednesday, had a Good Friday.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Ashes Friday Passion
You have to always remember they’re not your own kids. Play with them, love them, spoil them to death – then hand them back.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Death Kids Love Own Play
We were in front of a live audience and I would be acting with the man who was playing my lover, and we used those words, and the audience would titter and laugh, and make me uncomfortable doing the scenes. …
BILLY CRYSTAL

Audience Front Growing Men Self Used
I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Hands Sex Two
A laugh is a weird sound, and when you get a couple thousand people making it at once, it’s really strange. But when I can feel proud of myself for causing it, it’s great.
BILLY CRYSTAL

Couple Laughing People

When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

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When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable.

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Popular Authors

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