I’d like to think there is a Heaven, and it starts from the happiest day in your life.
BILLY CRYSTALIt’s money. I remember it from when I was single
More Billy Crystal Quotes
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I love doing it [hosting the Oscars] because I love the danger of it and you have to come through and think on your feet.
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I’m married – I’ve caught my limit.
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[I did impressions] of relatives because I heard so many different sounds. My dad was in the music business and of course my uncle was a giant [music producer], but my dad in particular had the house filled with these Dixieland jazz stars.
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Change is such hard work.
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Dad had a music store, and he’d often bring home comedy albums that I would listen to. I started listening to Bob Newhart and Bill Cosby, and developing taste. They really influenced my style of comedy.
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I always came away thinking “I’d like to see her more,” you know? And then when [Parental Guidance] was ready to be cast, we thought – Bette [Midler]. So we called her.
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I’ve always thought that the key to a good sex life is variety. That’s why God gave me two hands. Humans love sex, we need sex, it’s how we connect, it reminds us we’re alive, it’s the third most basic human need, after food and good movie popcorn.
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Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don’t think you can make your kids’ dreams your own. They need you to support them in their dreams.
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At 60, I could do the same things I could do at 30, if I could only remember what those things are.
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Nobody is more truthful when he’s acting than De Niro.
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Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I’d always go off book and start improvising.
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Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place.
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As a director and an actor, I encourage improvisation but in character and in the moment of what it is.
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Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck’s puff pastries.
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You have to really respect what your kids are doing with their kids and how they’re raising them. You can’t push your way into areas where you shouldn’t be saying anything.
BILLY CRYSTAL








