black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Billy Connolly

There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Dear Different Element Venue
Whenever I wear something expensive it looks stolen.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Expensive Looks Stolen
For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Animal Desire Winning
If you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Havens Heard Rumours
Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Comedy Euthanasia Fame
When I read ‘Be real, don’t get caught acting,’ I thought, ‘How the hell do you do that?’.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Acting Hell Real
People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Arses Channel People Rooms Search
Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it’s easy – you simply look under the kilt, and if it’s a quarter-pounder, you know it’s a McDonald’s.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Kilts Looks Mcdonalds Quater
Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Football Someone Team
I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Country Funny Humorous Witty
I think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Huge Love Simply Thinking You
I don’t think I’ve ever died on stage. I’ve had jokes that died on stage. I’ve told a joke and absolutely nothing. They didn’t know it was the end of the joke.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Absolutely End Jokes Stage Thinking
Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Bit Fun Jobs Laugh Occupation
I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Desert Drawing Islands Middle Page
I think the longer Britain is in Europe the better.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Britain Europe Thinking
I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
BILLY CONNOLLY

Algebra Funny Humor Likely never

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Billy Connolly Quotes