I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYI was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYI set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce – my main thrust was the body and its functions and malfunctions – the absurdity of the thing.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe strangest thing is at tea breaks, or coffee breaks or lunch, you forget you’re a zombie. And you’re talking about politics to somebody at the table and you forget that you have a bullet hole in your forehead.
BILLY CONNOLLYWisdom isn’t an old guy on top of a mountain in a loin cloth. It isn’t an answer. It’s a question.
BILLY CONNOLLYI spent the whole time battering people I liked and singing with my arm round people I loathed.
BILLY CONNOLLYSometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
BILLY CONNOLLYI love Los Angeles. It reinvents itself every two days.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’ve always liked it here. Part of me is Irish. My family comes from the west coast, so whenever I come to Ireland I get a wee tingling in my heart that I’m where I belong.
BILLY CONNOLLYFame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLYIf you haven’t heard a good rumour by 11:00am, start one.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s nothing better than a fight, especially when you’re watching it from a safe place. You can yell encouragement! Hit him with the left, he’s a big Jessie!
BILLY CONNOLLYSo, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
BILLY CONNOLLYWithout arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
BILLY CONNOLLYIf you want to lose a bit of weight, don’t eat anything out of a bucket.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
BILLY CONNOLLY