Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
BILLY CONNOLLYNow, the country is in a terrible state, and you’ve blamed it on a number of things: Unemployment rate, the value of the pound and all that… wrll, it’s because the national anthem is boring.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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If you give people a chance, they shine.
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Politically correct is the language of cowardice.
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There’s one of a figure with two heads that somebody thought must be a comment on the state of matrimony. None of it is a comment on anything.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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Killing a guy and stealing his wife and child isn’t too nice a thing to do.
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I’d always been scared of people with tertiary education and high intellects in case they found me wanting. I thought they viewed me as just a welder who knew a few jokes.
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There’s nothing like it, but it’s not as good as you think it’s going to be. . . . I was disappointed because there are records of people finding things that have been there for years. I was hoping for a shirt button, or my club’s badge – but not a sausage.
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Learn to feel sorry for music because, although it is the international language, it has no swear words.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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Sometimes there’s a tackiness about Route 66 that out-tacks any tackiness I’ve ever seen anywhere else. And the Meramec Caverns are the pinnacle of that tack.
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There’s no such thing as bad weather – only the wrong clothes.
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Fame is being asked to sign your autograph on the back of a cigarette packet.
BILLY CONNOLLY