I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
BILLY CONNOLLYI think of my life as a series of moments and I’ve found that the great moments often don’t have too much to them.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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I can’t believe in Christianity, but I think Jesus was a wonderful teacher.
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Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby. “Is this yours?” she asked “probably” said Paddy “she burns everything else”
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I set out to be a cross between Lenny Bruce and Robert the Bruce.
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I always look skint. When I buy a Big Issue, people take it out of my hand and give me a pound.
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Did your mother never tell you not to drink on an empty head?
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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So, have you heard about the oyster who went to a disco and pulled a mussel?
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Scotland has the only football team in the world that does a lap of disgrace.
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Life is supposed to be fun. It’s not a job or occupation. We’re here only once and we should have a bit of a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLY