I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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American sex shops are the most bizarre. They sell these inflatable dolls, but they also sell just the head — supposedly for people to drive along the highway with.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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I’ve always been fascinated by the difference between the jokes you can tell your friends but you can’t tell to an audience.
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The only time I would like to see was the 20s and 30s in America because I love the music and the style and the optimism, I wanted to see New York being built. I wanted to see all that, you know.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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Once you become successful, people know where you live, the type of house you live in, the kind of car you drive, the clothes you wear, and so it would be patronising to go and talk like a welder. Welding’s a mystery to me now. You can’t go back, your life changes every day.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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My advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
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Without arts programmes there’s only reality TV, and reality TV needs the arts to show it what reality is.
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Well, the film’s not only pricking the pomposity of the Church, it’s pricking the pomposity, and sometimes you would think fraudulence, of the insurance companies.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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I’ve always wanted to go to Switzerland to see what the army does with those wee red knives.
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Don’t vote, it only encourages them.
BILLY CONNOLLY