I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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If I had a hammer, there’d be no more folksingers.
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A mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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Acting is a different discipline. On stage I’m free to say what I please. But the change is very good for ya.
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I’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.
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As soon as I got successful, the Scottish press started picking on me. It’s something they reserve just for me.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
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Revolution was written into the U.S. Constitution so it’s like they’re in a constant state of revolution. But then again, happiness is written into their constitution as well, which makes them pretty unique.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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There’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
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People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLY