People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that’s an image I really didn’t need.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere’s a fine line you have to tread because you don’t know who is out there in the auditorium. A lot of people are too easily offended.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I’m a citizen of the world. I like it that way. The world’s a wonderful. I just think that some people are pretty badly represented. But when you speak to the people themselves they’re delightful. They all want so little.
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In Mexico, everything on the menu is the same dish. The only difference is the way it’s folded.
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I’m not going to throw away the hand of friendship to suit 100 Trotskyites in Glasgow.
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I don’t believe in angels and I have trouble with the whole God thing. I don’t want to say I don’t believe in God, but I don’t think I do. But I believe in people who do.
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I used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
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I used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
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There’s an element of manners that should tell you that the ticket is dear and it’s a different venue.
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When people say “it’s always the last place you look”. Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you’ve found it?
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For me, it’s about the desire to win. My audience becomes a crowd of wild animals and I have to be the lion-tamer or be eaten.
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I have been made redundant before and it is a terrible blow; redundant is a rotten word because it makes you think you are useless.
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Chic Murray once told me he fell in the street, and a woman said to him, “Did you fall?” He said, “No, I’m tryin’ to break a bar of chocolate in my back pocket.”
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I’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
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I loved Japan. I used to read a lot about it when I was a child. And I always wanted to go. And it was delightful. I absolutely loved it. What a smashing place.
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I hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
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I’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
BILLY CONNOLLY