The more you know the less the better.
BILLY CONNOLLYI used to be a folk singer, but I was… dreadful. I had a voice like a goose farting in the fog.
More Billy Connolly Quotes
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I don’t aim to offend.
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I don’t know why I should have to learn Algebra… I’m never likely to go there.
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Don’t work out, work in.
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I became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
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I started to draw desert islands. They were just rough, shapes in the middle of the page. Then I began drawing shapes within those shapes and I was amazed how quickly the islands got better. It took off from there.
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Save the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
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I’m a huge film star… but you have to hurry to the movies, because I usually die in the first 15 f–ing minutes. I’m the only guy I know who died in a f–ing Muppet movie.
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A well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
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I just believe in the movie. I don’t care what the book was like. I don’t care what the previous film was like or other films were like. I care only about the script I’ve got.
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I was brought up a Catholic, for that you get an A level in guilt.
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I was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
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The human race has been set up. Someone, somewhere, is playing a practical joke on us. Apparently, women need to feel loved to have sex. Men need to have sex to feel loved. How do we ever get started.
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I loathe hecklers. I haven’t got a good syllable to say. When you come out of the club circuit and into the concert hall, they should be gone.
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I hate all those weathermen, too, who tell you that rain is bad weather. There’s no such thing as bad weather, just the wrong clothing.
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Never run with scissors or other pointy objects.
BILLY CONNOLLY