Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLYMarriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit.
BILLY CONNOLLYA mate of mine has just told me he’s shagging his girlfriend and her twin, I said how can you tell them apart, he said “her brothers got a moustache!”
BILLY CONNOLLYI’ve been a poser for f–ing years. I say, pose your arse off. You know, have a laugh.
BILLY CONNOLLYI became a welder. I was actually becoming an Engineer and I joined the wrong queue. And so I became a welder, without knowing what a welder was.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’m a big fan of the Mars Bar Diet. You don’t eat the Mars bar, you stick it up your arse and let a rottweiler chase you home.
BILLY CONNOLLYWhen I was 12, we went from Glasgow to Aberdeen on a school trip. It was called fresh air fortnight.
BILLY CONNOLLYI used to have Mad Cow’s disease, but I’m alright Nooooooooow.
BILLY CONNOLLYI’d never consciously left home to see a zombie movie. They were fine by me, but I had no intention of ever being in one. But I’ve been learning more about it as I’ve been doing interviews. I
BILLY CONNOLLYSave the Trees? Trees are the main cause of Forest Fires!
BILLY CONNOLLYI was brought up as a Catholic. I’ve got A-level guilt.
BILLY CONNOLLYI hate those earnest TV documentaries that are the world according to people with glasses who know better than you.
BILLY CONNOLLYMy advice to you, if you want to lose a bit of weight: don’t eat anything that comes in a bucket. Buckets are the kitchen utensils of the farmyard.
BILLY CONNOLLYA well-balanced person has a drink in each hand.
BILLY CONNOLLYThe world needs more Edwin Morgans, people who can take the language and swing it round their heads and don’t care what you think.
BILLY CONNOLLYDon’t work out, work in.
BILLY CONNOLLYThere are two seasons in Scotland: June and Winter.
BILLY CONNOLLY