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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

Raised to an alarming extent by Madison Avenue and Hollywood, poised with my cynical and alienated peers to take over the world when you’re old and weak… Am I scary, or what?
BILL WATTERSON

Avenue Cynical Hollywood Poised Raised Scary
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
So, what’s it like in the real world? Well, the food is better, but beyond that, I don’t recommend it.
BILL WATTERSON

Graduation Real World
Everybody I know fails the acid test of friendship.
BILL WATTERSON

Acid Failing Tests
Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said ‘I think I’ll drink whatever comes out of these when I squeeze ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Guy Humorous Look Thinking
A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day.
BILL WATTERSON

Battle Disrespect Drama InterAction
Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
BILL WATTERSON

Pigs Riding Three
Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around.
BILL WATTERSON

Bad Helping Mood
That’s the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Being Country Differences Happiness Happy
Calvin: Isn’t it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it’s weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity.
BILL WATTERSON

Appreciating Giving Thinking
There’s great potential for that which has yet to be fully mined.
BILL WATTERSON

Fully Great Minded Potential
The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Motivational Truth
If people sat outside and looked at the stars each night, I’ll bet they’d live a lot differently.
BILL WATTERSON

Cute Funny Life Stars
Happiness isn’t good enough for me! I demand euphoria!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Ecstasy Enough
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
The real fun of living wisely is that you get to be smug about it.
BILL WATTERSON

Fun Real Smug Wisely

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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Popular Authors

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