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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

Years from now, when I’m successful and happy, …and he’s in prison… I hope I’m not too mature to gloat.
BILL WATTERSON

Envy Successful Years
It’s not denial. I’m just selective about the reality I accept.
BILL WATTERSON

Beautiful Life Success
I keep forgetting that rules are only for little nice people.
BILL WATTERSON

Littles Nice People
I’m related to people I don’t relate to.
BILL WATTERSON

People Relate Related
Getting an inch of snow is like winning 10 cents in the lottery.
BILL WATTERSON

Snow Winning
Why waste time learning, when ignorance is instantaneous?
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorance Learning Waste
Like delicate lace, so the threads intertwine, oh, gossamer web of wond’rous design! Such beauty and grace wild nature produces… Ughh, look at that spider suck out that bug’s juices!
BILL WATTERSON

Design Grace Produce Spiders
Maybe that’s why it’s hard to tell if we’re living in a tragedy or a farce. Calvin: We need more special effects and dance numbers.
BILL WATTERSON

Dance Hard Maybe Number Special Tell
Yakka foob mog. Grug pubbawup zink wattoom gazork. Chumble spuzz. I love loopholes.
BILL WATTERSON

Loopholes Pubbawup
Calvin: The more you know, the harder it is to take decisive action. Once you are informed, you start seeing complexities and shades of gray.
BILL WATTERSON

Ignorant Men Risk
In a culture that relentlessly promotes avarice and excess as the good life, a person happy doing his own work is usually considered an eccentric, if not a subversive.
BILL WATTERSON

Culture Excess Good Life
I like maxims that don’t encourage behavior modification.
BILL WATTERSON

Behavior Encouragement Friendship Modification
Calvin:”It says here that ‘religion is the opiate of the masses.’…what do you suppose that means?” Television: “…it means that Karl Marx hadn’t seen anything yet
BILL WATTERSON

Mean Opiates Television
Hobbes: Jump! Jump! Jump! I win! Calvin: You win? Aaugghh! You won last time! I hate it when you win! Aarrggh! Mff! Gnnk! I hate this game! I hate the whole world! Aghhh!
BILL WATTERSON

Really Running Stupid
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
You know, sometimes kids get bad grades in school because the class moves too slow for them. Einstein got D’s in school. Well guess what, I get F’s!!!
BILL WATTERSON

Funny Guess Moving School

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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Popular Authors

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