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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

My problem is that I don’t paint ambitiously. It’s all catch and release – just tiny fish that aren’t really worth the trouble to clean and cook.
BILL WATTERSON

Problem Tiny Trouble
Hey Susie Derkins, is that your face, or is a ‘possum stuck in your collar?
BILL WATTERSON

Faces People Possums
Reading those turgid philosophers here in these remote stone buildings may not get you a job, but if those books have forced you to ask yourself questions about what makes life truthful, purposeful, meaningful, and redeeming.
BILL WATTERSON

Book Jobs Meaningful
I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
BILL WATTERSON

Adulthood Growing Thinking
Animals aren’t conditional about friendships. Animals like you just the way you are. They listen to your problems, they comfort you when you’re sad, and all they ask in return is a little kindness.
BILL WATTERSON

Animal Ask Friendship Kindness Problem
Tomorrow we’ll not only seize the day, we’ll throttle it.
BILL WATTERSON

Day Seize Throttle Tomorrow
Calvin: Why are you crying mom? Mom: I’m cutting up an onion. Calvin: It must be hard to cook if you anthrpomorphisize your vegetables.
BILL WATTERSON

Cutting Mom Vegetables
Every artist learns through imitation, but I rather doubt the aim of these things is artistic development.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Doubt Taken Talking
When birds burp, it must taste like bugs.
BILL WATTERSON

Bird Bugs Taste
History is the fiction we invent to persuade ourselves that events are knowable and that life has order and direction. That’s why events are always reinterpreted when values change.
BILL WATTERSON

Direction Events Knowable Order Prejudice
Now if a joke is in bad taste or it’s not funny, okay, that’s awhole different thing, but how you craft a joke is really what the writer’s job is, and I don’t think that technique should be subject to any editorial constraints.
BILL WATTERSON

Craft Different Editorial Joke Taste Technique
What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Point Rockets Ships Wearing
I like my smock. You can tell the quality of the artist by the quality of his smock. Actually, I just like to say smock. Smock smock smock smock smock smock.
BILL WATTERSON

Actually Artist Quality Smoke Tell
Art has to keep moving and discovering to stay alive.
BILL WATTERSON

Alive Art Moving
Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
BILL WATTERSON

Differences Inability Praying Strength
Hold it. You know what I’d like to see? I’d like to see the three bears eat the three little pigs, and then the bears join up with the big bad wolf and eat Goldilocks and Little Red Riding Hood! Tell me a story like that, OK?
BILL WATTERSON

Pigs Riding Three

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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Popular Authors

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