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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

Bill Watterson

Do you feel lonely? I don’t have the courage to face reality so I get lost in my dreams. You know what’s weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything’s different.
BILL WATTERSON

Courage Different Everything Lonely Pretty
It’s hard to be religious when certain people are never incinerated by bolts of lightning.
BILL WATTERSON

Incinerated People Religious
What’s the point of wearing your favorite rocket ship underpants if nobody ever asks to see ’em?
BILL WATTERSON

Point Rockets Ships Wearing
But Calvin is no kind and loving god! He’s one of the old gods! He demands sacrifice!
BILL WATTERSON

Demand Kind Sacrifice
God put me on this earth to accomplish a certain number of things. Right now I am so far behind that I will never die.
BILL WATTERSON

Accomplish Funny Life Motivational Nothing
You will do well to cultivate the resources in yourself that bring you happiness outside of success or failure.
BILL WATTERSON

Detours Failure Resources Wells
Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.
BILL WATTERSON

Dad Dark Daylight Mean Truth
The world of a comic strip ought to be a special place with its own logic and life… I don’t want the issue of Hobbes’s reality settled by a doll manufacturer.
BILL WATTERSON

Issues Reality Special
I know the world isn’t fair, but why isn’t it ever unfair in my favor?
BILL WATTERSON

Fairness Favors World
Scientific Progress goes boink?
BILL WATTERSON

Hobbes Progress Scientific Progress
You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don’t help.
BILL WATTERSON

Good Luck Lucky Rockets
Leader, bandits at 2 o’clock! Roger; it’s only 1:30 now-what’ll I do ’til then?
BILL WATTERSON

Clock Funny Leader Roger
I think of football as a sport the way ducks think of hunting as a sport.
BILL WATTERSON

Football Sports Thinking
And it will be even more exciting if anyone pays for them. It’s hard to charge admission without a gate.
BILL WATTERSON

Admission Anyone Exciting Gate More
If you give a little credit to the concept of the artist, I think you ought to indulge excesses a bit, because that reflects the personality of the writer.
BILL WATTERSON

Artist Jobs Thinking
It’s psychosomatic. You need a lobotomy. I’ll get a saw.
BILL WATTERSON

Lobotomy Needs Saws

If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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If you can’t control your peanut butter, you can’t expect to control your life.

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Popular Authors

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