Calvin: Dad where do babies come from? Dad: Well Calvin, you simply go to Sears, buy the kit and follow the assembly instructions. Calvin: I came from Sears? Dad: No you were a blue-light special at K-Mart – almost as good and a lot cheaper!
BILL WATTERSONCalvin: Look, a dead bird! Hobbes: It must’ve hit a window. Calvin: Isn’t it beautiful? It’s so delicate. Sighhh… once it’s too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is.
More Bill Watterson Quotes
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We all have different desires and needs, but if we don’t discover what we want from ourselves and what we stand for, we will live passively and unfulfilled.
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I can never enjoy Sundays, because in the back of my mind I always know I’ve got to go to school the next day. It’s like trying to enjoy your last meal before the execution.
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I don’t think I’d have been in such a hurry to reach adulthood if I’d known the whole thing was going to be ad-libbed.
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Calvin: Know what I pray for? Hobbes: What? Calvin: The strength to change what I can, the inability to accept what I can’t, and the incapacity to tell the difference.
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My whole problem is that my lips move when I think.
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Every time I’ve built character, I’ve regretted it.
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Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
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Since September it’s just gotten colder and colder. There’s less daylight now, I’ve noticed too. This can only mean one thing – the sun is going out. In a few more months the Earth will be a dark and lifeless ball of ice. Dad says the sun isn’t going out.
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Calvin the zombie searches for food. Horribly, the undead feed upon the living! …Although, in a pinch, a PBJ will do, if you eat it messily enough.
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Barney’s Dad was really bad so Barney hatched a plan when his dad said “Eat your peas.” Barney shouted no and ran Barney tricked his mean old dad and locked him in the cellar Barney’s Mom never found out where he’d gone, Cause Barney didn’t tell her. T
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Life is like topography, Hobbes. There are summits of happiness and success, flat stretches of boring routine and valleys of frustration and failure.
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Does anything we say or do in here really matter? Have we done anything important? Have we been happy? Have we made the most of these precious few footsteps?
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I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man’s destruction of forests. . . .
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I’m learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework…procrastinating and negotiation.
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Van Gogh would’ve sold more than one painting if he’d put tigers in them.
BILL WATTERSON