When you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHERWhen you get people who are out of office, suddenly their tongues loosen up and suddenly they say the things that you wish they’d said or did when they were in office.
BILL MAHERIf you think you have it tough, read history books.
BILL MAHERI do think the patriotic thing to do is to critique my country. How else do you make a country better but by pointing out its flaws?
BILL MAHERThe younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHERHollywood isn’t your cesspool, America. It’s your mirror.
BILL MAHERLet’s make a law that gay people can have birthdays, but straight people get more cake – you know, to send the right message to kids.
BILL MAHERPeople have to stop saying that just because someone is an anti-gay activist they might be gay. They’re DEFINITELY GAY!!
BILL MAHERMaybe a president who didn’t believe our soldiers were going to heaven might be a little less willing to get them killed.
BILL MAHERIdiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHERI always compare marriage to communism. They’re both institutions that don’t conform to human nature, so you’re going to end up with lying and hypocrisy.
BILL MAHERJust honest. To me, being ‘politically incorrect’ means the opposite of being political — which means to spin everything. That’s all it’s ever meant to me. It’s never meant liberal or conservative. It means honest.
BILL MAHEROnly a Bush could answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question two different ways and be wrong both times.
BILL MAHERThe plain fact is: religion must die for mankind to live.
BILL MAHERSuicide is man’s way of telling God, ‘You can’t fire me – I quit.’
BILL MAHERThe Drug War is an addiction, really.
BILL MAHERThe First Amendment was specifically designed for citizens to insult politicians. Libel laws were written to protect law students speaking out on political issues from getting called whores by Oxycontin addicts.
BILL MAHER