Idiots must stop claiming that atheism is a religion. Religion is defined as the belief in and worship of a superhuman controlling power. And atheism is… precisely not that. Atheism is a religion like abstinence is a sex position.
BILL MAHERHot women have to stop putting long paragraphs of text on their bodies. I know you think it’s sexy but one thing that men never think is, “Gee, you know what would make this sex better? Having something to read.”
More Bill Maher Quotes
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I have a problem with people who take the Constitution loosely and the Bible literally.
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Faith means the purposeful suspension of critical thinking. It’s nothing to be admired.
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To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
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Who takes care of their people better? FEMA or Hezbollah?
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Religion is detrimental to the progress of society.
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Beating Newt Gingrich in a popularity contest is like beating Stephen Hawking in ‘Dancing with the Stars.’
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The problem is that the people with the most ridiculous ideas are always the people who are most certain of them.
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In America, you’re allowed to justify almost any kind of bigotry, sexism, or intolerance if you source it to God’s big book of bad ideas.
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Here’s the thing about Donald Trump: He never apologizes. He’s never wrong, no matter what crazy thing he says. He’s totally – he’s the white Kanye.
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Talk to women who’ve ever dated an Arab man. The results are not good.
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Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them.
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Jim Bakker spells his name with two k’s because three would be too obvious.
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I have always defined political correctness as an elevation of sensitivity over truth.
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God knows life sucks. It’s right there in the Bible. The book of Job is all about Job asking God to take away pain and misery. And God says, “I can’t take away pain and misery because then no one would talk to me.”
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What I believe in is love your neighbor as yourself and don’t call him stupid because they don’t agree with you politically.
BILL MAHER