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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.

Bill Maher

You can always tell when Obama’s negotiations with the Republicans are winding down, because he’s missing his watch and his lunch money.
BILL MAHER

Himself Missing Money Negotiation Yourself
To a coward, courage always looks like stupidity.
BILL MAHER

Appearance Courage Coward Stupidity
Have you ever met a war you didn’t love? I’m asking, is there any place you don’t want to intervene in?
BILL MAHER

Love Place War Yourself
Little do women know what big ideas I have in my pants.
BILL MAHER

Big Ideas Myself Woman
We don’t really have to make fun of religion – it makes fun of itself.
BILL MAHER

Fun Joke Religion
They’re talking about banning cigarette smoking now in any place that’s used by ten or more people in a week, which, I guess, means that Madonna can’t even smoke in bed.
BILL MAHER

Ban Bed Myself People Smoking
When opportunity knocks all some people can do is complain about the noise.
BILL MAHER

Complain Noise Opportunity People
Religion, to me, is a bureaucracy between man and God that I don’t need.
BILL MAHER

God Man Myself Need Religion
Curious people are interesting people, I wonder why that is.
BILL MAHER

Curiosity Interesting Myself People Wonder
Things aren’t right. If a burglar breaks into your home and you shoot him, he can sue you. For what, restraint of trade?
BILL MAHER

Break Home Right Shoot Trade Yourself
Trusting the government to monitor your calls without listening. It’s kind of like trusting Chris Christie to pick up the McDonald’s and not eat the fries on the way home.
BILL MAHER

Call Eat Fries Government Home Listening Trust Way
In the Republican party, crazy is a constituency.
BILL MAHER

Constituency Crazy Politics
There is no debate here, just scientists and non-scientists. And since the subject is science, the non-scientists don’t get a vote.
BILL MAHER

Debate Right Science Subject Vote
If Jesus was a Jew, why did he have a Spanish name?
BILL MAHER

Identity Name Nature Origin
The younger generation is supposed to rage against the machine, not for it. They’re supposed to question authority, not question those who question authority.
BILL MAHER

Angry Generation Machine Question Young
I don’t respect religon. I don’t respect superstitious thinking and that is what religous is.
BILL MAHER

Myself Religion Respect Thinking

America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.

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America is like a dog. I’m sorry, but it is. It cannot understand actual words. It understands inflection. It understands fear. But you can’t actually explain issues to a dog.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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