Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.
BILL HICKSI don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth… see you at the final.
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We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?
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What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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If you’re so pro-life, do me a favour: don’t lock arms and block medical clinics. If you’re so pro-life, lock arms and block cemeteries.
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You know what I hate about working? Bosses…The very idea that ANYONE could be my boss, well…I think you see the conflict.
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That’s why I always recommend a psychedelic experience because it makes you realize that all you’ve learned is in fact just learned and not necessarily the truth.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
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I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
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It’s always funny until someone gets hurt. Then it’s just hilarious.
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I go to dance clubs…about once a year just to justify the other 364 days I spend in my apartment going ‘God, what idiots!’
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Speaking of Satan, I was watching Rush Limbaugh the other day.
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Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
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To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS