• 
• 
• 
• 
• 
• 

1. black
2. grey
3. blue
4. red
5. brown
6. white

I don’t mean to sound bitter, cold, or cruel, but I am, so that’s how it comes out.

Bill Hicks

Related Topics

FunnyHumorMean

Popular Authors

Marilyn Monroe Paulo Coelho Abraham Lincoln C. S. Lewis Khalil Gibran Charlie Chaplin Gautama Buddha Isaac Newton

Prevoius|

More Bill Hicks Quotes

• 

  Marijuana: a drug that kills … no one – and let’s put it in a time frame – ever. Illegal.

  BILL HICKS
  DrugIllegalMarijuana
• 

  The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.

  BILL HICKS
  ComedianRolesStartsWaiting
• 

  We are one with God and He loves us. Now if that isn’t a hazard to this country-How’re we gonna keep building nuclear weapons?

  BILL HICKS
  CountryHazardNuclear
• 

  Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can’t find your fags.

  BILL HICKS
  Cigarette SmokeEyeSmoking
• 

  Shut up! Go back to bed, America. Your government is in control. Here’s Love Connection. Watch this and get fat and stupid.

  BILL HICKS
  CountryGovernmentStupid
• 

  We’ll never die, and all our dreams come true the instant that we have them. And Eve said, Yeah… it’s just not enough is it?

  BILL HICKS
  AdamDreamsEnoughEveInstant
• 

  All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.

  BILL HICKS
  EmsRaiseRealTaught
• 

  I’m totally confused about what I’m going to do with my life.

  BILL HICKS
  ConfusedGoingLifeTotally
• 

  I believe that God left certain drugs growing naturally upon our planet to help speed up and facilitate our evolution. OK, not the most popular idea ever expressed. Either that or you’re all real high and agreeing with me in the only way you can right now. (Starts blinking)

  BILL HICKS
  BelieveIdeasReal
• 

  I love the Pope, I love seeing him in his Pope-Mobile, his three feet of bullet proof plexi-glass. That’s faith in action folks! You know he’s got God on his side.

  BILL HICKS
  FunnyGlassesHumorMobileSeeing
• 

  There is a 3rd point of view on the gun control issue – those who I refer to as THE VICTIMS – but they remain strangely silent.

  BILL HICKS
  GunIssuesSilentViews
• 

  I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.

  BILL HICKS
  ArtistCulturePerceptionWestern
• 

  You think when Jesus comes back, he really wants to see a cross? That’s like going up to Jackie Onassis with a rifle pendant on.

  BILL HICKS
  JesusReligiousThinking
• 

  What did moths bump into before the electric light bulb was invented? Boy, the lightbulb really screwed the moth up didn’t it? Are there moths on their way to the sun now going, It’s gonna be worth it!.

  BILL HICKS
  BoysLightLightbulbSun
• 

  When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.

  BILL HICKS
  FunnyHumorPeopleTwo
• 

  I’ll smoke, I’ll cough, I’ll get the tumors, I’ll die, deal? Thank you America. [salutes]

  BILL HICKS
  CountryDealsSalute