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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

Bill Hicks

They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
BILL HICKS

Apathetic Consumer Docile Want
Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
BILL HICKS

Atheist Funny Sex
To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
BILL HICKS

Country People Weapons
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
BILL HICKS

Better Esteem Feel Self War
The CIA has a plot…they’ve used before to get rid of world leaders. Only problem…is convincing Hussein…to fly to Dallas.
BILL HICKS

Dallas Leader Plot
Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
BILL HICKS

Cow Mushroom Thinking
Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
BILL HICKS

Ideas Next Revolutionary
They believe the bible is the exact word of God – Then they change the bible! Pretty presumptuous, hu huh? “I think what God meant to say…”
BILL HICKS

Believe God Thinking Word
I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
BILL HICKS

Abortion Baby Steps Unwanted
Well we looked at all the people in the Bible and we added ’em up all the way back to Adam and Eve, their ages: 12,000 years.
BILL HICKS

Added Age Bible People Years
I’m an American who loves an America which doesn’t exist, which is a land of freedom and free ideas.
BILL HICKS

Country Ideas Land
I’m glad mushrooms are against the law, because I took them one time, and you know what happened to me? I laid in a field of green grass for four hours going, “My God! I love everything.” Yeah, now if that isn’t a hazard to our country…
BILL HICKS

Country Happened Law Mushrooms
Let’s do some comedy. I always like to add some comedy to my show. Those who’ve seen me before might know that.
BILL HICKS

Add Comedy might Show
I don’t know what you all believe, and I don’t really care … but you have to admit that beliefs are odd. Lots of Christians wear crosses around their necks … you really think when Jesus comes back, he ever wants to see a fucking cross?
BILL HICKS

Christian Jesus Kings Neck
Mister, I don’t want no trouble. I just came downtown here to get some hard rock candy for my kids, some gingham for my wife. I don’t even know what gingham is, but she goes through about ten rolls a week of that stuff. I ain’t looking for no trouble, Mister.
BILL HICKS

Candy Kids Look Mister Rocks Wife
To make marijuana against the law is like saying God made a big mistake.
BILL HICKS

Marijuana Mistake Weed

People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

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People are bringing SHOTGUNS to UFO sightings…brings a whole new meaning to that phrase ‘You ain’t from around here, ar’ya?’

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Popular Authors

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