black
grey
blue
red
brown
white

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Bill Hicks

The role of the comedian is to say ‘Wait a minute’ when a consensus starts to form.
BILL HICKS

Comedian Roles Starts Waiting
I ascribe to Mark Twain’s theory that the last person who should be President is the one who wants it the most. The one who should be picked is the one who should be dragged kicking and screaming into the White House.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor Ideas Revolutionary
People say to me, Hey, Bill, the war made us feel better about ourselves. Really? What kind of people are these with such low self-esteem that they need a war to feel better about themselves?
BILL HICKS

Better Esteem Feel Self War
My voice was not heard, the questions were not asked that I wanted to see asked.
BILL HICKS

Voice Heard Wanted
In the beginning God created the heavans and the earth… see you at the final.
BILL HICKS

Earth Finals Heaven
Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
BILL HICKS

Children Rocks Stars
Caffeine from Monday to Friday to energize you enough to make you a productive member of society, and alcohol from Friday to Monday to keep you too stupid to figure out the prison that you are living in.
BILL HICKS

Caffeine Energize Friday Monday Productive The Figure
Truly, the only stupid people I’ve ever met, the most absolutely clueless, are the very people that produce television.
BILL HICKS

Clueless People Stupid
Life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves.
BILL HICKS

Dream Funny Ideas Revolutionary
When two or more people agree on an issue, I form on the other side.
BILL HICKS

Funny Humor People Two
I used to love to call L.A. when I lived in New York… Is that the Big One I hear in the background? Bye, you lizard scum! Bye!
BILL HICKS

Bye Country
Mummy, I woke today and there was a Lincoln Log in me sock drawer! … That’s the story of Jesus.
BILL HICKS

Jesus Stories Today
I find it ironic that people who are against things that cause sexual thoughts are generally fundamentalist Christians who also believe you should be fruitful and multiply.
BILL HICKS

Believe Christian Fruitful People
What do you say we lighten things up and talk about abortion?
BILL HICKS

Abortion Say Talk Thing
I was in Australia….Lotta leg room down under. Apartments: dollar a month. 2000-acre den….think of the parties.
BILL HICKS

Australia Party Thinking
I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
BILL HICKS

Eight Night Sleep

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

Would you let the aliens land, please? They might be here to pick me up.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bill Hicks Quotes