People always snap and think they’re Jesus. How come no one ever snaps and thinks they’re Buddha?
BILL HICKSAll your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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You know we armed Iraq. I wondered about that too, you know during the Persian Gulf war those intelligence reports would come out: “Iraq: incredible weapons – incredible weapons.” How do you know that? “Uh, well… we looked at the receipts.”
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I’m not into those kind of rivalries. I remember standing out in front of Stratford, minding my own business. Carload of about eighty kids would pull up.
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I…am an evolved being who deals solely with the source of light…in all of us in our own minds. No middleman required.
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I was in a cab in New York. The cab had a sign, “Please do not smoke, Christ is our unseen guest.” This guy was reaching.
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To me pornography is…spending all your money and not educating the people in America, but spending it instead on weapons.
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Sometimes my dad even gets on this kick–‘You hate this country’….I have to tell him…I just hate being lied to.
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I don’t like anything in the mainstream and they don’t like me.
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Isn’t that weird, we’ve made nature against the law. That’s how un-natural we’ve become.
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We all pay for life with death, so everything in between should be free.
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Mushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
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I have something to tell you non-smokers that I know for a fact that you don’t know, and I feel it’s my duty to pass on information at all times. Ready?. . . . Non-smokers die every day . . .
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I had a great time doing drugs. Sorry. Never murdered anyone, never robbed anyone, never raped anyone, never beat anyone, never lost a job, a car, a house, a wife or kids, laughed my ass off, and went about my day.
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I’ll tell you how to solve this abortion thing…Those unwanted babies…? Leave about 12 of them on the Supreme Court steps.
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You ever noticed how people who believe in Creationism look really un-evolved? You ever noticed that? Eyes real close together, eyebrow ridges, big furry hands and feet. “I believe God created me in one day”. Yeah, looks like He rushed it
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Let me tell you about gays in the military. I don’t want any gay people hanging around me while I’m killing kids. I just don’t want to see it.
BILL HICKS