At least he f-kin’ jams! If it’s a choice between eternal Hell and good tunes, and eternal Heaven and New Kids on the f-kin’ Block … I’m gonna be surfin’ on the lake of fire, rockin’ out.
BILL HICKSMushrooms grow on cow turds. I love that. I think that’s why you giggle the first hour.
More Bill Hicks Quotes
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Listen, the next revolution is gonna be a revolution of ideas.
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Women priests. Great, great. Now there’s priests of both sexes I don’t listen to.
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I smoke to fill the potholes in my soul
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May I suggest, instead of a war to feel better about yourself, perhaps… sit-ups? Maybe a fruit cup? Eight glasses of water a day?
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I don’t identify with anyone historically, but there are several people in the future who I am a dead ringer for.
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Rock stars hawking Diet Cokes–are demons set loose on the Earth to lower the standards for the perfect & holy children of God!
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[Comedy] is an escape from illusions. The audience is…thinking, ‘This bullshit we see and hear all day makes no sense.’
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Good comedy helps people know they’re not alone. Great comedy provides an answer.
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…love rather than fear…this radical philosophy is coming from me, an avowed misanthrope…surely there is hope for us all.
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I guess what surprised me the most was the discrepancy in casualties: Iraq, one hundred fifty thousand casualties, USA: seventy-nine!
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I, like all artists in Western cultures, am a shaman…come in the guise of a comic…to heal perception by using…’jokes’.
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They Want You To Be A Docile Apathetic Consumer
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I’m a heavy smoker. I go through two lighters a day.
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I need my sleep. I need about eight hours a day, and about ten at night.
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All your beliefs, they’re just that. They’re nothing. They’re how you were taught and raised. That doesn’t make ’em real.
BILL HICKS