The reason we’d stopped was that the buffet car was on fire, that was the reason we stopped. One of the giant biscuits spontaneously combusted out of boredom.
BILL BAILEYI never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
More Bill Bailey Quotes
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My wife bought me a vintage Gibson guitar that isn’t just beautiful but has tremendous sentimental value. I have plenty of guitars for live gigs but this is one to treasure.
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I’m a vegetarian, I’m not strict. I eat fish. And duck, but they’re nearly fish aren’t they.
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Orchestras have often been used to conjure up the natural world: Swans, sharks, trout, but not, as far as I know, the often maligned jellyfish.
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The way we live in the West we live like kings. People moan about this and that in Britain but we have running water, electricity, security and a rule of law and so many people in the world don’t have these.
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Live comedy’s a very reckless, foolhardy profession. You’re only as good as your last gig so earnings fluctuate.
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American rock has a sort of self-pitying whine to it.
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I tend to go through periods worrying, “Where am I going, I can’t see a way out of this,” and it becomes quite stressful. But sometimes you have to take a bet on yourself.
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Or, as I call it, a Cheesel, it’s a Weasel with a Cheese finish.
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You remind me of the Siberian hunting spider, which adopts a highly convincing limp in three of its eight legs in order to attract its main prey.
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I’m English and as such I crave disappointment. That’s why I buy Kinder Surprise.
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What I’d like to do now – well, what I’d like to do now is grow my beard very long, weave it into my pubes and strum it like a harp.
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Add a drop of lavender to milk, leave town with an orange, and pretend you’re laughing at it.
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I never really thought comedy was a career option, just something I did for fun. Suddenly I realised I was getting paid which was a bonus. I studied for a diploma with the London College of Music, and teaching was something I thought I might do but comedy intervened.
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Contentment is knowing you’re right
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In Unity there is strength; We can move mountains when we’re united and enjoy life – Without unity we are victims. Stay united.
BILL BAILEY