“All I’ve ever done is try to entertain my way through a life that often has a huge amount of heaviness in it.”

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.

The outside world doesn’t have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.

There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.

I’m mad about God! That’s why I’m divine.

If I don’t feel right about what I’m in, I don’t feel right about anything.

[On Denmark:] … that little country of cottage cheese and courage.

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Men’s brains are smaller than those of women so they can fit into their penises.

The [film] business is run by men, and they’re basically interested in their own species, and they’re not so interested in women belonging to the human race.

After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.

If somebody makes me laugh, I’m his slave for life.

I believe that Judy Garland’s artistry was so fine. I mean, when people say: ‘oh, she brought so much of her life to her music’, I don’t really believe that. I believe that she didn’t have to. She just was a moving human being. That was her gift.

I try not to drink too much because when I’m drunk, I bite.

I love nature, in spite of what it did to me.

If you pick up a ukulele, it will make you unbelievably happy.

Most people are walking around the city like corpses; they aren’t alive enough to notice the trash. They come from other places and they see it as a big garbage dump.

I’m a very introverted guy, so I don’t need to be around people for as long as someone who’s very extroverted to get that sort of social fix per se.

Bright, brightly, in the fullest blaze, and it burns all around, huge fire!

Iran is the only country around the negotiating table that has not been attacked by either al-Qaida or Daesh.

Think about it – most political campaigns are based around values. Barack Obama’s 2008 election campaign galvanized millions of youth behind two very clear values – hope and change.

. If this person makes you feel good, then they’re a person to be around; if they don’t, they’re not. Being in a band is different.

I’ve been around many girls who have been super outgoing.

Anyone in the comedy world knows that Horatio Sanz and Chris Parnell are two of the funniest guys around.

If you hang around long enough, they think you’re good.