“I always try to balance the light with the heavy – a few tears of human spirit in with the sequins and the fringes.”

People are not the best because they work hard. They work hard because they are the best.

The worst part of success is to try to find someone who is happy for you.

Just because people don’t meet you doesn’t mean they’re not out there breaking their asses trying to get around.

My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.

My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.

Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.

When I started in this [music] business, I had a dream, but it was amorphous, and I had no experience. I just had a fuzzy notion of what life would be like if I became what I pictured.

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn’t take anything drastic. You needn’t be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!

I’m the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.

I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.

[On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.

My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

Syntactic sugar causes cancer of the semicolon.

Cancer, like any other illness, is a bore.

Building community for its own sake is like attending a cancer support group without having cancer.

It’s a scary word, ‘cancer.’

A laser is a weak source of energy. A laser takes [only] a few watts of energy and focuses them in a coherent stream of light.

But with a laser, you can drill a hole in a diamond or wipe out cancer.

If manufacturers are so sure there is nothing wrong with genetically modified foods, pesticides and cloned meats, they should have no problems labeling them as such.

There’s no bigger atheist than me. Well, I take that back. I’m a cancer screening away from going agnostic and a biopsy away from full-fledged Christian.