“I always wanted to be a performer, I didn’t know exactly what kind of performer, all I knew was there were certain things that I liked. I liked movies a whole lot, and I loved music.”

Cherish forever what makes you unique, ‘cuz you’re really a yawn if it goes.

When I started in this [music] business, I had a dream, but it was amorphous, and I had no experience. I just had a fuzzy notion of what life would be like if I became what I pictured.

The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.

Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.

Make sure your life is a rare entertainment! It doesn’t take anything drastic. You needn’t be gorgeous or wealthy or smart, just very enthusiastic!

I’m the last of the truly tacky women. I do trash with flash and sleaze with ease.

I’ve always been lucky enough to have great audiences. It has been quite a life.

[On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.

My daughter very independent. But if she’s upset about something, she will absolutely let me know. She’s great – a real tough cookie.

Cats always seem so very wise, when staring with their half-closed eyes. Can they be thinking, I’ll be nice, and maybe she will feed me twice?

If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?

Where did I do well?” When I did this assessment of my life, I said to myself, “It was really good.”

Unfortunately, every time there’s a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.

When it’s time to shuffle off this mortal coil, you leave your ashes to be composted.

Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.

For days on end, I would hardly speak, and when I did only the vilest sort of gibberish would spout forth. I became morose and fat. Unapproachable, except when eating – and then only by waiters.

I watched a lot of the James Bond movies, certainly, both the old ones and the reboot with Daniel Craig. I watched a lot of the Matt Helm films with Dean Martin, which just have these great car scenes where it’s rear-projected, and they just start making martinis out of a bar in the glove compartment.

A certain traveler who knew many continents was asked what he found most remarkable of all.

Pantagruelism is a certain gaitey of the spirit consisting in a disdain for the hazards of fortune.

Discretion has been termed the better part of valour, and it is more certain, that diffidence is the better part of knowledge.

Whether we kept a certain number of troops there or pulled out completely

Rogues are always found out in some way. Whoever is a wolf will act like a wolf, that is most certain.

The only certainty is death.

I know that they want certain things and they’re in a certain room and they smell like this and they look like that.