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I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Bette Midler

It’s important that you all agree on what the parameters are and what you can accomplish – and not get pissed off or beat yourself up for what you can’t accomplish.
BETTE MIDLER

Beats Important Off Pissed
Do you want to live and work in a garbage dump? I don’t. That’s partly because I grew up in the most pristine environment possible – Hawaii, where it is sacrilege to leave your garbage on the ground.
BETTE MIDLER

Dump Garbage Possible Wanted
A person’s life is a journey, a road. Sometimes you go off the road and sometimes you stay on all the way through. But you are the only one on that road. It’s your road.
BETTE MIDLER

Journey Sometimes Way
The only thing Madonna will ever do like a virgin is give birth in a stable.
BETTE MIDLER

Birth Giving Virgins
Lay a foundation – get my foot in the door, and then undoubtedly, of course, I would be offered great roles as soon as I grew up enough to handle them.
BETTE MIDLER

Enough Foundation Great Lay
Sometimes you have to make your own opportunities, and that’s why I’m on TV. I wasn’t going to sit around anymore, waiting for the damn phone to ring. I had to create my own place – I’ve always done that.
BETTE MIDLER

Opportunity Phones Waiting
When I read that, I burst into tears. It was so generous and so basic. Not fluffy. I can’t understand why we scrimp on education and shortchange our kids. Why would the citizenry do that to the people who are going to inherit its republic?
BETTE MIDLER

Country Generous Kids Shortchange Understand
I never know how much of what I say is true.
BETTE MIDLER

Cynicism Funny Truth
Most people don’t deserve to be spoken of in the same breath as Chaplin or Lucille Ball.
BETTE MIDLER

Balls People
Thank God for the gays. I don’t know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.
BETTE MIDLER

Gay God Happened Thank
I want it all – and I would like it delivered.
BETTE MIDLER

All Delivered Want
My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.
BETTE MIDLER

Independent Sibling Teacher
I have my standards. They’re low, but I have them.
BETTE MIDLER

Low Lows Standards
Previously, the jokes were more related to current issues, political. Today people make about each other either funny or about people like Kim Kardashian. It’s brutal. Everything is so much vielschmutziger.
BETTE MIDLER

Brutal People Previously Today
The [film] industry is an ecosystem that’s sick.
BETTE MIDLER

Ecosystems Movie Sick
Here I am, one of the most colorful women of my time – if not of my block – being made to sound positively legumelike in printed interviews.
BETTE MIDLER

Block Positively Sound
[On Princess Anne:] Such an active, outdoorsy lass. She loves nature in spite of what it did to her.
BETTE MIDLER

Princess Royalty Spite
A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.
BETTE MIDLER

Bigger Life People
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Hilarious Love
I hope to keep entertaining in some way until I can’t physically entertain any longer. It’s what I was born to do, and I love this profession.
BETTE MIDLER

Born Entertaining Way
If you’re frightened, you’re out of luck.
BETTE MIDLER

Frightened Luck Out
I’ve always said we got married because there was nothing on TV.
BETTE MIDLER

Always Breakup Married
That’s the Oscars for ya – you remember who was nominated, but you don’t remember who won!
BETTE MIDLER

Nominate Oscar Remember
Sometimes my brain goes on CD shuffle. You know, you put a bunch of CD’s on and hit play and random things come out.
BETTE MIDLER

Brain Play Random
The old forms of entertainment are not extinct. Live performances are the pinnacle. If you can something that people want to see live, then you have a great career.
BETTE MIDLER

Careers People Want
I wish America would spend even half as much time complaining about plastics in our oceans as we do about actresses’ plastic surgery.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Ocean Wish
Let the sun stop burning, Let them tell me love’s not worth going through. If it all falls apart, I will know deep in my heart, The only dream that mattered had come true …In this life I was loved by you.
BETTE MIDLER

Life Love Romantic

I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

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I tried to charm the pants off Bob Dylan, but everyone will be disappointed to learn that I was unsuccessful. I got close – a couple of fast feels in the front seat of a Cadillac.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

More Bette Midler Quotes