“Thank God for the gays. I don’t know what would have happened but I know what did happen. Good for them and good for me.”

That’s our mission: to clean and green New York City – one block at a time.

I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

As you age, feelings do diminish.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I’m looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work – juggle, tap dance, anything I want.

I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.

In a marriage, you struggle and struggle and struggle, and then you realize that you have to ride the horse in the direction it’s going. You stop trying to pull the reins in another direction.

People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.

Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.

Total contentment is only for cows.

If you’re passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.

The outside world doesn’t have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.

There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.

I’m mad about God! That’s why I’m divine.

What am I supposed to do if I go bald? Get a wig? Fat, goofy, gay, wig.

I am opposed to special rights for gays just as I am opposed to special rights for heterosexuals or smokers.

You know my issue isn’t whether gay people go to heaven or straight people go to heaven.

But as a property owner of Orlando, I wouldn’t rent to someone who is gay any more than I would rent to a person who is a practicing witch.

So he can add his voice to the chorus of others whether it’s gay activists or now a New Testament professor.

If they’re not seeing that their society sees gay people as equals, how could you tell them what they’re doing is wrong?

They tried to say that being gay is a sin, and I said that adultery is a sin.

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue.