“Honey, I can smell the scent of another woman from 500 paces.”

A lot of people started drinking martinis and smoking cigarettes because they felt it was cool.

I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?

That’s our mission: to clean and green New York City – one block at a time.

I celebrate everyone’s religious holidays. if it’s good enough for the righteous, it’s good enough for the self-righteous, I always say.

As you age, feelings do diminish.

Only two groups of people intimidate me absolutely: salespeople and the French.

I’m looking for something that gives me a chance to stretch. Because I have my own work, and I can do anything I want in my own work – juggle, tap dance, anything I want.

I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.

In a marriage, you struggle and struggle and struggle, and then you realize that you have to ride the horse in the direction it’s going. You stop trying to pull the reins in another direction.

People have an obligation to live up to their potential.

Even if the whole human race dies off because we keep fighting and killing each other and being heartless, the planet will take care of itself. Eventually, after millions of years.

Total contentment is only for cows.

If you’re passionate about something, then you should pick up your flag and run with it.

A lot of people say that my life is wasted on me because I could be a bigger asshole than I am, but I’ve chosen not to be.

The outside world doesn’t have a lot to offer. You have to make your own heaven in your own home.

There’s a kind of emotional exploration you plumb with a friend that you don’t really do with your family.

If you say, I love you, then you have already fallen in love with language, which is already a form of break up and infidelity.

Love, marriage, divorce, infidelity… life was the same here as anywhere else, wasn’t?

She suspected him of infidelity, with and without reason, morning, noon and night.

You were never my love story, you were always hers.

Much malice mingled with a little wit Perhaps may censure this mysterious writ.

Malicious men may die, but malice never.

There is no rampart that will hold out against malice.

The only true infidelity is for a live man to vote himself dead.