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You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.

Bette Midler

There’s the media-driven universe, in which the public perceives you in a superficial way. Then there’s the universe that you actually inhabit, where you have to get up even if you didn’t sleep so well, and you feel like crap and your face is swollen.
BETTE MIDLER

Media Sleep Way
I decided years ago not to read stories about myself anymore. Each one is a potential minefield: Whatever it says, you’re bound to take it the wrong way. Why do it if you know it’s going to make you miserable?
BETTE MIDLER

Stories Way Years
A lot of people have no access to beauty. When I was growing up, my mother had only a few pretty things to look at.
BETTE MIDLER

Grow Up Mother People
Writing a book is not as tough as it is to haul thirty-five people around the country and sweat like a horse five nights a week.
BETTE MIDLER

Book Country Horse
I married a German. Every night I dress up as Poland and he invades me.
BETTE MIDLER

Funny Humorous Memorable
Life is like cooking your masterpiece recipe. You have to get the right ingredients,have the right mixture and the right cooking time to reveal the PERFECT and DELICIOUS TASTE of your craft.
BETTE MIDLER

Cooking Life Perfect
After thirty, a body has a mind of its own.
BETTE MIDLER

Age Birthday Funny Mind
I feel like a million tonight – but one at a time.
BETTE MIDLER

Inspiration Memorable Tonight
I bear no grudges. I have a mind that retains nothing.
BETTE MIDLER

Bears Grudge Mind
Without passion, the powers-that-be can run roughshod over you.
BETTE MIDLER

Over You Passion Running
I’m confident that I’m as intelligent as many people, but I know that I’m not as intelligent as some. So in the presence of hyperintelligent people, I’m a shrinking violet because I don’t want to look like a fool. I know a little about a lot and a lot about a little.
BETTE MIDLER

Intelligent People Shrinking
That’s the Oscars for ya – you remember who was nominated, but you don’t remember who won!
BETTE MIDLER

Nominate Oscar Remember
I always look old when I work because I get so upset and tense that my face wrinkles up like a prune, I can’t stop it.
BETTE MIDLER

Pruned Tense Upset
My parents have not insisted that we go to college, but she wanted us to learn. Teacher, librarian, secretary, nurse. All my siblings were employed. But I wanted to be the boss, an independent contractor.
BETTE MIDLER

Independent Sibling Teacher
Unfortunately, every time there’s a budget crunch in New York, the Parks Department is usually the first to be cut. So they need all the help they can get.
BETTE MIDLER

Country Cutting Parks
[On Helen Reddy:] She ought to be arrested for loitering in front of an orchestra.
BETTE MIDLER

Helen Orchestra Singing

You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.

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You have to think you’re the greatest thing since sliced bread, but you have to know that you’re not.

Related Topics

Popular Authors

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