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I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.

Bernie Mac

When I get a chance to play golf or go on a boat with good people, take the boat out and put some lobsters on the grill, get the ice-cold beer and the cigars – that’s heaven here on earth.
BERNIE MAC

Beer Boat Golf Ice Lobster
When I go onstage, I want to relieve your mind, your pressures.
BERNIE MAC

Mind Onstage Pressure Want
I want to have fun. Life ain’t no dress rehearsal. I want to have fun. I’m a comedian; I ain’t no politician. So everything I do is with humor, with love.
BERNIE MAC

Comedian Dresses Everything Fun
I can act. I’ve been acting for a long time, but like anything else, don’t nobody owe you nothing. You’ve go to pay your dues. You go from A to Z; you don’t go from M to Z.
BERNIE MAC

Acting All Anything Long Pay
If I can tell someone a story that makes them bend over and laugh, that’s bigger than anything else.
BERNIE MAC

Bigger Laughing Stories
You can’t be a doctor if you don’t know the entire parts of the body.
BERNIE MAC

Body Doctors Knows
The success of my comedy has been not being afraid to touch on subject matters or issues that everyone else is politically scared of.
BERNIE MAC

Comedy Issue Matter Politically
If you mess something up, remember who got you there. Don’t be pointing fingers, even if finger-pointing is called for. Only one you got to blame is your own self.
BERNIE MAC

Blame Remember Self
I want to play a villain – I can’t wait to play a villain.
BERNIE MAC

Play Waiting Want
Why do people love Richard Pryor so much? ‘Cause he had problems.
BERNIE MAC

Causes People Problem
They say if you don’t have your health you ain’t got nothing, but the truth is you ain’t got nothing if you don’t have no one to worry about your health.
BERNIE MAC

Health Nothing Truth Worry
Jerry Weintraub, the producer, might be a pain in the ass, but he really knows how to treat his actors.
BERNIE MAC

Actors might Pain Producer
You can’t change what happened. Just like you can’t change the future by worrying about it. You just have to keep moving.
BERNIE MAC

Like Moving Worry You
I came up in the community center. I used to be physical director of the South Central Community Center in Chicago on 83rd. It’s still there. It used to be around there when I was a kid.
BERNIE MAC

Center Community Director Kids
Stand-up is what I am; stand-up is what made me.
BERNIE MAC

Made Stand
Whatever you hear at the barber shop, stays at the barber shop.
BERNIE MAC

Barbers Hear Shop Stay

I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.

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I ain’t running for office. I ain’t running for nothing.

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Popular Authors

More Bernie Mac Quotes